sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Me too!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
there is puke in my bra ... again
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
