I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
