No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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