Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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