u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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