3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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