Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
