i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
