Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
