literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
