wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
