Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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