How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize