In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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