Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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