It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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