when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize