Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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