Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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