I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
