if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
