the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I had to cum in my sink.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
