well you can't waste a boner
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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