even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
