That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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