Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
