I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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