So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
