The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
