Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
