Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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