I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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