I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
