Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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