That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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