she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
