brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
