2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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