I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize