oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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