Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
