and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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