When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You're a waste of cheezeits
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
