Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
