it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
