Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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