Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
