He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
