This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
