you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize