East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish my penis had a tongue
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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