they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
