if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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