i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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