We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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