Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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