You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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