yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
