the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
only you would photoshop your dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
