Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
