i think my tv is drunk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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