we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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